Oh, by the fucking gods... Djex, what are you playing at?!
She's gone and taken off in that fucking Devastator ship. I knew we should have kept an eye on her! Somehow I just fucking knew it!
Well, it's too late to say shit like, 'if only'. She's gone now and what's done is done. What we need to do now is find out where the fuck she went and why. I got this weird message from her, which seemed to be all in riddles, and I can't quite work out what she was trying to say... something about a thing she had to do. Something from her childhood. Well, at least it gives us an idea of where she'll probably be...
Skjir's World.
It's just across from where we've been hiding out for the time being, and that's where she grew up for most of her life before her life changed so violently. I do know how she feels. We all have our inner demons and we all often wake up screaming from the countless nightmares of our past life experiences... but Djex? I think she maybe has the most terrors to recall, or at least the most from such a young age! Her behaviour, lately, has become erratic and withdrawn. It's not like her to be so reclusive, at least not for such long periods. She's always had her quiet times, aye... but lately they've been getting more extreme and for longer periods. That smile she always has when things are normal, and which melts even the coldest heart, has become less and less frequent in its appearance. This worries me as much as it saddens me. And now, the crazy bitch has gone and done a runner in that fucking Sakaari Devastator! What the fuck are you playing at, girl?! Have ya no idea how much this would make us all worry about ya? For fuck's sake!
It's not like her to be so thoughtless, though! That's another thing about this which is so unusual. Aye, sure she's always been a bit random and a pretty impulsive a lot of the time, but this is like nothing I've known before. Not even from her! I'm confused and I'm concerned. I'm wondering if someone has been pressuring her or something. I'm pretty sure she never had any of those brainwashing or mind-fucking implants in her body, which we might have failed to detect. We've all been scanned time and time again for those fucking insidious things, so I doubt it's that. No, I think something else. Maybe some news of a family member? Or something nasty like blackmail or a threat to someone she cares about? Hard to say at this stage. I've messaged Vandioch and Vrigon and Zorgo, too. Always best to speak to those closest. And they're also those probably closest to Djex, as well as to myself. We all love her so damn much! And, well... maybe I'm starting to realise that my feelings for Djex are a bit more intense than I'd realised. Fuck! I didn't want that to happen! But she does know how to brighten up the mood in a room. She does it without even trying! So I think it's safe to say we all love her, one way or another. Thing is, some of us love her in a more intimate way than as a mere friend or sister-like companion, and that's when things always get complicated. Especially with someone so free-spirited as Djex Raevenraat Slaavruhl! Vrigon and Djex have always been close. More than just friends, as well. Same-sex intimacy is a problem to some places and worlds in Prosperity, so they had to keep any tendencies of it to themselves while in the open, but on here, we have no such prejudices. And then there was that time I caught her and Zorgo fucking in the seat of one of the gun turrets. I should have guessed by the half sad feeling I had when I spied them, that my feelings were more than just friendly. But I've always had trouble admitting to things like that. A bad habit from the old days of not being able to admit to feelings. Back in the days of constant uprisings on Skjir's World and on Kurdos, just one world along from there, it was always prudent to hide your feelings, coz if you didn't, the Lawforces and Army could always use it against you. Maybe it explains why I have so much trouble keeping them in since getting away. Like all that oppression of emotion leads to an outpouring which can't be curbed. And that's how it is with Djex. I need to talk to her. To tell her I think of her all the time... but where to begin?!
But anyway, that's not the priority right now! What we need to do is find out where the hell she is, and what she's doing. I'm going to meet the rest of the comrades she'd messaged besides myself. Vrigon, Zorgo and Vandioch all got the same message or something like it. We'll discuss the situation and see what we can decide.
Despite being a hot-headed person with an erratic tendency, I'm not one for worrying this much. And that shows how bad this situation is! I can't think straight with all the worry and anxiety I have for that girl! I don't even know if it's because she's a close friend or if it's something more like... I don't know what! I don't even know what I'm saying...
I'm starting to get stressed again. I need to think straight. Think rationally. I'll go and speak with the others in a short while. Until then, maybe I'll lie down and try not to obsess over Djex. If we do get her back, I don't think I'll let go of her, I'll be holding her that tight! I'm scared to sleep for fear of the nightmares. They keep coming back and I can't bear to think of her being in danger! I've lost too many people close to me to have to deal with that, too! I'll take some relaxants and try to calm down. Aye... that's what I'll do. Djex, you crazy bitch! Please be safe, girl! We won't let anything bad happen... I can't let that happen! None of us can.
Time to stop this recording now. I'll continue when I can think straight and when I know what we're going to do.