I wake up in a sweat! I don't even remember why, but I'm still terrified. The memory of the dream isn't there right now, but the fear is still with me, suffocating me. For what seems like a long time, I lie here, too scared to move...

I'm in this makeshift bed, in this makeshift sleeping box-room, lying naked in my own sweat. Just as well I'm not wearing anything or I'd be even more uncomfortable! As I wake properly, the memory of what scared me so much starts to return. Flashing, horrible memories of childhood flood my mind, and the nightmares that stylise them into something even more horrifying! I'm a terrified little girl again, back on Skjir's World. It's the summer in the warm part of the planet, and my family are there... and the soldiers have come and I'm scared because I know things are not going to go well. But I have no idea how bad it will be! No idea at all! They come and then I hear my mother screaming...

The dreams vary. Sometimes, the soldiers look like ghostly apparitions. Like the undead or like some hideous phantoms. Sometimes they look like rabid beasts, foaming at the mouth as they tear apart our home and my childhood. Whatever nightmare visions they manifest themselves into, it just makes that terrible childhood memory something I keep reliving. Not that I could ever forget it, anyway! The image is there for the rest of my life. My mother screaming. My father taken out of our home and shot through the head. The acrid smell of smoke as they set fire to our home. There wasn't much in there. We were too poor to own much. But they burned it down anyway. And the sight of them raping my mother, all taking it in turns to have their fucking way with her. Laughing at her, calling her a fucking slut and all kinds of horrible names, hitting her in the face, belittling her, humiliating her.. and me seeing it all. I was a little girl and they just ripped apart my life!

And they wondered why I came in the night and repaid the debt! They fucking wondered! They all remembered, when this grown woman came to their quarters, those who I've found so far. They all remembered when I reminded them... when they confessed to me with a plasma pistol pointing at their balls. At the end, those fucking cowards were willing to confess at gunpoint when hey found out what it feels like to be the victim. Every one of them found in their quarters with their heads blown off and their confessions recorded. Some of the rapist bastards cried, in a manner of speaking, but more with self pity than with begs for mercy. The regiment they came from trained them well in fanaticism and a lack of desire for mercy or an unshakable inability to show one. Just as well, it makes them easier to kill without any feelings of guilt. Most seemed almost indifferent. Like it was just part of the job. An occupational hazard. Only that lot have such an indifference, or a pretence of it, at least. I've never seen such brutality or hatred in people. Not even hardened war veterans! No. They're a special breed, the Prosperitan interplanetary Droptroopers. You can always recognise them with their red caps and the crimson red markings on their helmets and uniforms. Murdering berserker bastards! They show no mercy, and they get none. I Shot them all through their fucking heads and I watched them all die. The rage... it takes me and I kill like it's nothing. Maybe it's my cybernetic augmentations or maybe it's the hatred that's built up over the years since that terrible day. I don't know. I just feel like killing is natural when the rage takes me. I shot two of those cunts in the guts and saw them writhing in pain while their entrails hung out. The pain must have been bad to make even those bastards show it! Brutal executions for brutal killers. They all died like the filthy, cowardly scum they were and, yet they were called 'heroes', and 'victims of a ruthless murderess and terrorist'. Such fucking hypocrisy! Fine when they did it to my parents... but not so fine when I take things into my own hands. I don't hide behind a fucking uniform. I fight and I kill without mercy or affectations of 'respectability'. Why? For justice, such as there is, and to redress the balance. Someone has to show these motherfuckers that they're accountable! Terrorist? Who's the real terrorist? Ask yourself that!

There's just one more of them to kill, now. At least, I think so. The officer in command of that troop who committed that crime those years ago. I saw him standing there, encouraging his filthy scum to defile my mother like that. His time is coming soon. He'll know who I am, if he doesn't already! People know of me, already after the trail of blood and entrails I left behind me. And I'm sure, many more will know me soon.
Maybe it's better that I still shake with fear and wake up in a sweat after what I did, and what they did. Crazy, though it sounds... At least, even with all of that violence and death and trauma, it reminds me that I'm a human being. Augmented or not, part machine or not, I have more of a conscience than those raping, murdering bastards ever had! The conflict of conscience and the burning need for revenge is there always. Like an endless noise in my head. I need to shut it out, sometimes... sometimes the flashbacks and the endless noise is too much! But, in spite of all that, I am still me. Even though the nightmares still haunt me, I can still say I am a woman who feels. I still suffer, yes. But I also still love and I still care for other people who suffer. Solidarity is something which is strong with me. Like I say, some people know who I am nowadays. My face is known to some but my name is known to more... who am I? I hear you ask.

My name is Djex Raevenraat Slaavruhl. I'm wanted in some of Prosperity's major territories, and I suspect this 'wanted' status may grow. I live with my friends and comrades whom I trust, totally. Pleased to meet you, my audience. You want to know me better? You may find out more. I'm not finished with my business just yet. Not until that bastard dies!
I shower and dress and prepare myself for my day. I have to remind myself that it's all a bad dream, and that I'll put things right soon. I am still a loving, caring and sentient being.
Sometimes I need to remind myself who and what I am.
My name is Djex. I live with my friends and comrades whom I trust totally. I am a loving, caring and sentient being. My name is Djex... my name is Djex...
I get out of the shower and dry myself off. It should be an interesting day...