As the crew of the 'Bastard' class space vessel known as the Star Bastard slept, or tried to sleep, they wondered where their dear friend and comrade Djex Raevenraat Slaavruhl was and if she was safe. As they wondered and dreamed, she thought of them, also. She felt terrible for having sneaked off the way she did, but she could think of no other way to do what needed to be done. The message she'd sent to all of them had been the best possible attempt to explain it in the time that she had:-

'To all those of you who've become like my family now.
By the time you all read this, I should be gone. I discovered some unfinished family business, I had to deal with. I can't go into it all now, but please trust me, I have to do this! There's something on there which I need to collect and something I need to fix. I'll explain more later. Please let me do this and please don't worry! I know yous all will, but please try not to. I'm a big girl now and I can look after myself.
I'm sorry I took off in that Devastator fighter. I had to do it. You'll all find out why, soon. Please trust me! I will return. I promise!
I love you all!
Djex'

All of them read this and worried, as anyone would at such random behaviour. They were all used to Djex and her impulsive actions, but this made them all feel a horrible sense of dread. Any mention of Djex's childhood made anyone feel uneasy!
As for Djex... well, let's leave any further narration to her...

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I check the controls of this thing. I should have done it before, but there wasn't time if I was to get away unnoticed. Everything's fine. The ship's computer is lit up reassuringly and all the dials are reading normally. I press the acceleration pad under my foot and gently go along. I just remember that there's bound to be Prosperitan ships round here, not to mention lots of other nasty surprises, so I quickly press the switch for the cloaking device, so I can avoid being seen. The cloak works fine, too. I love these ships! Always reliable.

I glide on through space, and feel alert but, at the same time, like as if I'm dreaming. I feel very aware of how vulnerable I am in the vacuum of space in a ship as small as this. Not like being in a bigger vessel, where you're surrounded by things and by people and where it seems like you're in some kind of building on some planet. No, in these small ships, you know only too well how cold and empty it really is out there! And in some ways, it's a good feeling. Makes you appreciate being alive and being able to get back to that bigger ship. I fly on in a state of wonder, especially when I come close to some floating objects. The eerie hum as I pass by always makes me feel vulnerable and a little scared, too in a way, even after everything I've been through in my short life. But it's a good and exciting feeling, as well. I'm waiting for how it'll feel when I get closer to the moons and floating rocks further down the line as I get closer to my homeworld. Back to that old place, Skjir's World, where so many of my best and my worst memories lie.

It feels weird returning back there again. It always does, even when it hasn't been so long. I guess any return to a place where you grew up feels strange. Like you're rewinding your life and suddenly having vivid flashbacks of being there as a child. So many things come back to me whenever I do this and I often feel overwhelmed by them. And not always in a nice way, either! I decide to cruise on and not think too much about things. It's not easy to do this, though. The flashbacks of seeing my mother being gang-raped by those army bastards when I was a little girl. The times in that orphanage where we were abused all the time... but I remember meeting my first love, there, so I try to think of her.
Tiírna, my first love. She's one reason I'm going back there. It got back to me via the hacked network that she'd killed that bastard who raped her when she was a kid. He was marked for death by the Hruk Na-Gaa, anyway because of his perpetuating endless war in this sector of the galaxy, but, by all the gods, I never expected him to be wiped out in such a poetic and just way! I only wish she'd planned it better and escaped. But, no, she had to get caught red-handed! She's due for public beheading soon, but I don't think I can save her, and this breaks my fucking heart! I'm not going to let her die alone without trying, though! No way!

I remember the times we kissed and fucked back when we were experimenting. It helps me deal with things in a way, but it also reminds me of how much I want to help, but can't! fuck it and fuck my life! Why is it everyone I love gets taken away and raped or abused or killed? Fuck this shit and those bastards... fuck them all!
I must stop thinking like this. It's not healthy and it's not helping. I try to focus on what I'm doing and where I'm going. I'm making sure I follow the directions and the co-ordinates set on this little ship, to make sure I don't end up in the wrong place. I fly on, trying to keep my mind clear. I need to be thinking clearly when I get there, so I'm trying to practice my mental discipline, but it's hard, with all the pain and the traumas in my memories. All those triggers of violent or terrifying thoughts which come flooding back whenever I get even close to heading home. I wish I wasn't so damaged! I'm glad I have calming drugs built into my augmentations, but even they can't work miracles. I try and focus... keep focused on what I'm doing. The necessity of doing this thing helps me to actually do it. The fact that if I don't then I'm a dead woman, makes it impossible not to. I need to remember that I'm no use to anyone if I can't keep it together. I can't help Tiírna at all and I can't fix that last problem my broken family. That thing that I must do. I need to be focused and alert!
I can feel the eerie hum again as I fly close to some more satellites. It helps to distract my mind from more ugly thoughts and it reminds me of what I'm doing without all the horrible memories. I fly on and I feel calm again. I can prepare myself for the things I need to do when I get to my home world...

I'm flying on now in relative calm. The hum of the vibrations against the ship as I pass by some of the moon-like satellites is kinda hypnotic. It helps me relax but not too much! I don't want to fall asleep or go into some trance while I'm flying this thing into such a dangerous area. As I fly past, I can feel the tug of the gravitational pull of the satellite. I steer the small ship accordingly and fly by. I'm thankful for no nasty little surprises near these satellites and it's nice to feel like I'm in control and not having to deal with sudden problems. Flying ships like this always gives me a feeling of exhilaration.

As I can see the image of my home world appear in the distance, I feel nervous once again. I'm focusing on where I can land this thing without being seen. Maybe I can avoid the daily patrols of Starfighters with this cloaking device. They have trouble seeing you with such things on your ship, which is why they've banned all use of them apart from on their own vessels. Ha! Fuck them! They can try and catch me, but I'l never make that an easy task for them. I glide on, amused at this thought. I need to keep some sense of humour especially with all the shit that's happening right now!

I can see some ships ahead. A terkinum mining ship and some military escorts surrounding it, and somewhere among them, I'm sure there'll be some Starfighters. Those are the ones I need to take special care to avoid. I switch all instruments on the ship to silent or whisper mode, to avoid any vibrations or anything like that being picked up on their scanners. I can't be too careful out here right now. Those bastards will be on full alert so I need to proceed with caution and evade them at all costs. On I go, taking great care to avoid being detected. I make my breathing slow and controlled and I barely move a muscle apart from the minimum required to operate the controls of this thing...
WHAT THE FUCK?!!! Suddenly, from out of nowhere a fucking Prosperitan warship appears, right in front of where I'm headed! They just flash into view as they enter the vacuum and appear there right in front of me, just arriving from wherever they come from with their fucking warp drive disengaging as they do...
Shit!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!! FUCK!!! My breath steams up the lenses of the helmet covering my face, as I start to panic. I take emergency evasive action and just manage to steer clear of them, flying beneath the hull of their ship. I feel so tiny as I pass by below them. I'm hoping they haven't detected me on their scanners! Fuck! I don't need scares like this. I see some shit in the vacuum being knocked back by their deflector shields as they appear, which is a useful distraction. If their scanners pick anything up, it should be that, so I think I'm safe from detection.
Fuck! That was close... but it stops me from getting complacent, so it's not so bad. I'm alive and I'm still undetected. They'd have opened fire instantly if they'd sensed my location. They take no chances with any unregistered vessels in this area, the trigger-happy bastards that they are. I've managed to slip past them, so I'm doing fine.
I've managed to avoid any contact with any nasty little things floating around in space between where we were on the Star Bastard and here. I took special care to dodge past dormant war drones orbiting the asteroid belt nearest to us, and all the fucking debris that's all over that area, only to be almost turned into atoms by some fucking Prosperitan destroyer appearing out of hyperspace at random. For fuck's sake, Djex, get it together!

I fly towards the place of my destination taking extra care to avoid any more close calls like that. I sneak past the first patrolling warship without so much as a hint of being detected, and the Starfighter squadron is too far away on its routine patrol to pick me up here. I'm flying on minimum power and letting the ship glide on. I pass the mining ship and avoid all other possible obstacles. As I head on towards the atmosphere of Skjir's World, I get some more flashbacks, but most of them are pleasant. They help me deal with the inevitable nerves I get as I get closer to where I need to go. I keep on going and continue to avoid Prosperitan sensors. I won't fuck this venture up... there's too much at risk for me to get sloppy! I continue on my way, very, very carefully.

(To be continued)